dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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