a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize