Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
