talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
