Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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