i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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