Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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