that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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