this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
