my vag is so smooth its legendary
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
