Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize