It's like God shit irony all over that family
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
