remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
do herpes really smell.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
