Got a toothbrush?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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