You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
