did you get engaged???
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
