i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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