i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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