So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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