I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Michael Bay diarrhea
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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