But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
