I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
