everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize