She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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