So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
