Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
