why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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