You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
