You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
