I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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