i permit you to call me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
