i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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