Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize