My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
