He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
