turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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