So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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