I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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