I think my fart just growled at me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize