I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
