Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
