Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
