you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
