dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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