Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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