I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
