Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
