glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your cock deserves a montage
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize