so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
