I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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