What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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