He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
