If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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