My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
