You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
