What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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