so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
