So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
