No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
