girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
