PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
