do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
