I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
