Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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