Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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