hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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