Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My breasts were aching with rage.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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