i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
