Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize