At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize