You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
