I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
