sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
