dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize